| | So, a couple of days ago I got hospitalized for my stomach problems, and they only could find out what it wasnt... its definately not my appendix. doesn't really help much, but oh well. its not like doctors are professionals or anything. stayed home the last few days, throwing up and junk. although I did make it to church. parents are sick too. and that certainly doesn't help with the whole everyone making everyone else mad. seems we all are on a short fuse lately. oh well. at least god isn't giving up. had a lot of time to think about god the last few days. realized how many of us really don't understand what unconditional means. I mean, the nurse at school was talking about milking my sickness for all I've got. people everywhere just don't understand. they think that they can just see me and judge me by what they see. and its annoying. it seams that my father just uses me staying home as ammunition. "If I'm too sick to go to school, I shouldn't be able to do..." and its used in almost everything that's said to me. there so much negative energy flowing through this building, and it really doesn't help. I'm sorry that I've been so sick, but its not my fault. I don't wake up every morning and say...hey, I think ill be sick today, see how many friends I can make mad at me, see if I can get my sisters to yell, see if I can disappoint my parents whenever I can. I really try to do things. every day I get up on time. I wake up, see how I feel, and go from there. but nobody takes the time to see this. they see a teenager(oh no its a teen, he's got to be up to no good) who doesn't give a rats behind about himself or his future. no-one sees that I worry about what I'm gonna do. instead they think that its more productive to say thinks like, he'll be lucky to get a job a McDonalds when he's an adult, behind my back. my family, the people I trusted, and love. but there is always god saying you can do it. you cant get through it and be a better person for it. no matter what it may seem like, I'm doing this for a purpose, and this will help you later on. I know in my heart that god is using me even now. I may not be able to see it this moment, but got is working with me, sickness and all. I see now that no matter who I trust, there is only one that will never ever let me down. only one that will never truly hurt me. only one that I can count on to be there no matter what. god. but the cool thing is.... he's the only one ill ever need. |
| | Posted 3/14/2006 4:41 PM - 41 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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